This is a question I asked myself many times while I was writing this book. I knew belonging was the theme (the main idea) I wanted to highlight in Jason’s story, but what does it mean?
Here’s what I came up with:
To belong means to be welcomed and appreciated for who you are. These feelings are given and received by all members.
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We do not all belong everywhere or in every situation. For example, I do not like to kill animals. I would not belong or feel comfortable as a member of a hunting group.
When you belong somewhere, you know it inside: you feel safe, respected, and valued. People care about what you have to say. They want you to participate. You feel seen and heard. This is different and deeper than just being accepted.
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A group you belong with should never try to make you feel bad about yourself or purposely insult you.
You know you belong when you don’t have to watch every word you say. You feel included. When you belong, you feel comfortable in your skin, comfortable with who you are and who you are with.
Belonging means you don’t have to worry that others in the group may judge you or make fun of you.
That was almost twenty years ago.
How things have changed! Back then, everyone still had home phones with cords attached to the wall; the word “stream” meant a small river; and it was very unusual to see a Jew who was not white in an American synagogue. Personally, I am happy that all three of these things are no longer true.
Let’s Talk about Jason
• How did Jason feel when he was a little boy at school?
• When did he start to feel like he didn’t belong? How did that change his life?
• What are some of the things Jason did to try to find the place that he belonged after he left his Jewish school?
• What happened in synagogue that helped him feel like he belonged?
Let’s Talk about You
• Have you ever felt like you were left out or didn’t belong in a group?
• What was that like for you?
• Did you tell anyone? Why or why not?
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